Mixed or Mixed Up?

Series on I Corinthians

IV Marriage

B Difficulties Related to Marriage, Text:7:10-16

Title: Mixed or Mixed Up?

Introduction

The Apostle has reflected on the importance of the institution of marriage as God’s ordinary provision for mankind. Now he deals with a specific problem in Corinth. Today Christians frequently end up married to non-Christians because they have made an unfortunate choice. We are to marry only in the Lord, but sometimes today one spouse is converted after marriage and the other is not. This was often the case in the early Church, so Paul is required to address the issue of a Christian being married to a non-christian. The Apostle’s primary concern here is to teach Christians how to behave, that is, how to glorify God in such a relationship. His advice is for everybody who faces this issue regardless of how it came to pass, and he tells us that we are to remember three things: contentment, commitment and calling.

I Contentment

We read of contentment in verses 10 and 11,To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. Contentment is a rare jewel. What is it? Among other things it is being willing to obey God even when it hurts. You know that people today get divorced for incompatibility or irreconcilable differences. Sometimes we can be astounded at the petty things that people cite: the color of hair, the clothing they choose, the way they squeeze the toothpaste. Dear friends if you want to see differences that are truly irreconcilable, look at a marriage between a believer and a non-believer. In Chapter 1 of this letter Paul reminds us that the wisdom of God is foolishness to the world, and the wisdom of the world is foolishness to God. How can you find any difference greater than this? What one thinks is wise, the other thinks is foolish! The point here is that according to Jesus and Paul even this is not a ground for divorce, and if any of the Corinthians had divorced their spouses for this reason, they should remain unmarried or be reconciled. Contentment does not come from yourself or your spouse; it comes from the Lord. Even if the cause of your discontent is profound divorce is not the answer. How much more is this the case when the cause is trivial? Divorce is usually disengagement for trivial reasons when the couple married for trivial reasons. Spiritual commitment can be the same. In the Old Testament God brought His people out of Egypt and in the wilderness he fed them, he clothed them he gave them water from the rock, and still they murmured and said we want to go back to Egypt. We say how foolish, how self-centered, how egotistical, how indulgent. But this is happening around us and within us all the time. It is the main reason why people get divorced. Paul sweeps all that way and basically says be content with your mate even if they are not a Christian. Martin Luther said I have such hatred of divorce that I prefer bigamy to divorce. I thought. when I read that, there goes Luther shooting off his mouth again, but then I realized that God says I hate divorce in Malachi 2:16, but he never says I hate polygamy. Yet in our society we outlaw polygamy but permit divorce for trivial reasons.

II Commitment

If you’re content then you can be committed as Paul describes it in verses 12-14, To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. Paul now turns from those who are divorced or in the process of getting a divorce to those who are married to a non-believer and says remain and be committed. Don’t be deceived because Paul says this is my word and not the Lord’s. He is not retreating an inch. Jesus did not speak specifically about this problem, but Paul is an apostle and he’s doing it for Jesus. Paul’s command is just as binding as Jesus’ command, and he says be committed. The problem with our view of commitment today is that we don’t see that every commitment is to God first. We tend to be committed to a task until it becomes unpleasant, or to a spouse until we don’t like them anymore, or to our country or church, or organization if everything goes our way. Granted there are times when we should end a commitment and this can be permitted even in marriage under certain circumstances. However, it should never be done because the way has become hard. The rise of feminism in our society taught people to be egotistical. I am woman, hear me roar. Men react adversely. Feminism claimed manliness for women and destroyed femininity. Women who once were held back are now often pushed further than they want to go. This creates a tension between the genders that quite naturally leads to people being more concerned with what pleases them than what pleases God. Paul gives us a different perspective. He says your marriage is a commitment to God. View it as a ministry, as an opportunity, as something which belongs to God. You can be a blessing in this a situation if you look to God and make him first in your life. The unbelieving spouse and the children of such a marriage have come into the sphere of God’s influence through you. In fact if God was not blessing that family through the believer, then the children would not belong to him either, but as Paul says we do not regard the children as unclean, that is, pagans, but we see them as belonging to Jesus and we baptize them. We cannot baptize an unbelieving adult, but the believing partner is still a source of blessing to them. Listen to what Peter says to believing wives and it is equally applicable to believing husbands. I Peter 3:1-7, Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. The thing that tears people apart is selfishness. The thing that keeps them together is sacrificial love that comes from God.

III Calling

Paul concludes this advice by reminding the believers that failure is a possibility in verses 15 and 16, But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? The ties of Christian faith and fellowship are ultimately stronger than any worldly ties. The gap between a believer and a non-believer is absolute. Maybe it will be bridged by sacrificial love and maybe it won’t. Only God knows. The end result may be that the unbeliever departs. If this occurs we understand this to mean that the marriage is legitimately ended. Our confession of faith, our denomination, and historic Presbyterianism all concur. One cannot maintain a marriage where an unbelieving partner refuses to be a part of it. Most important is the witness of Scripture itself. First, notice that Paul does not say it is the believer’s obligation to resist. He says let the person go. Secondly, he sounds no warning with regard to remaining unmarried as he does above in verse 11. Thirdly, and most importantly, he says the believer is “not bound.” The Greek word he uses was a first century rabbinical term for divorce. But having said that, what is important here is not the negative but the positive. God has called us to live in peace. The calling in view is the calling to salvation as in I Corinthians 1:2, “called to be holy.” Peace is only one of the effects of this divine call to eternal life, but it brings us back to contentment where we started. true contentment is found only in commitment to Christ above all and accepting His will. This is our calling. everything else may fail but faith in Christ will prevail. Remember 1:26-31, Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”