Holy Relationships

Series on I Timothy

V Wisdom

A Relationships, Text: 5:1,2

Title: Holy Relationships

Introduction

We come in chapter five of I Timothy to a series of instructions with regard to the ministry of Timothy. Great theologian though he was, Paul was a practical person. He had a pastor’s heart and a concern for dealing with people and their problems that comes through in all his writings. Here in this chapter he deals with several practical matters: shepherding relationships in watching over the church, the care of widows, church officers, and servants. With respect to the passage for today we see that Paul understood that a spiritual leader could not avoid confrontation. He says to Timothy in II Timothy 4:2, I give you this charge, preach the word, be prepared in season and out of season, correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction. There is a balance to be achieved and respected. This applies not just to Timothy and the Ephesian Christians nor just to elders and congregations, but to all of us as we relate to one another in the body of Christ. The balance is often upset. When we become members we all promise to preserve the purity and peace of the Church. Sometimes people are so devoted to purity that they destroy the peace of the church by excessive demands. Other times people are so devoted to the peace that they ignore the responsibility to confront, to correct, rebuke and encourage. In Galatians 6:1 Paul says, Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. but watch yourself or you also may be tempted. carry each other’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Now no matter what you do someone is likely to object. Either you are not gentle enough or you are too gentle. On one occasion you restore someone with a soft hand and there are those who think you should have used a pile-driver, or you correct someone who is persistently rebellious with the harshness required, and you are a bully. In the end there is only one path open to us; follow the Bible’s advice and do your best. That’s what we’re doing today as we listen to Paul’s counsel to Timothy. he speaks of the elderly and of equals.

I Elderly

The key concept as Paul tells Timothy in verses 1 and 2 in how to deal with those who are older is respect, Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. The Apostle says, “Do not rebuke harshly.” This is a single word in the Greek which originally meant to strike someone. It can be understood of verbally striking people. Instead the Apostle says we should admonish them. Admonish is the translation of a complex Greek word which is also the name of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it is translated the comforter. It refers to one who is called alongside to help, and can mean to exhort, implore, encourage, appeal, comfort, and console. In the Greek translation of the Old Testament it is used in place of a Hebrew word which means to me moved to pity. It is used in the New Testament to describe among other things a kind of ministry, exhortation. Various prophets and teachers in the New Testament had this gift and it is listed by Paul as a gift of the Holy Spirit in Romans 12. It means a Scripturally based Spirit dominated effort to get people to do the right thing. Paul does tell Titus to exhort and convince and exhort and rebuke with authority, so this approach does not work in every situation. In this situation it is appropriate because of Timothy’s youth and because it reflects God’s righteousness. God’s righteousness is reflected in his law and the fifth commandment says, Honor your father and mother that your days may be long upon the land which the lord your God is giving you. There is an intimation that respect for elders is so much a part of a righteous society that the failure to do it will lead to punishment and expulsion as in Leviticus 19:32. In America today we are reaping the violence, the savagery, the barbarity of forgetting this commandment. All the social programs, all the money, all the psychological explanations, all the blame that’s spread around is ineffective because the real problem is the failure of the family and the commitment of parents to maintaining this God-given order. We must not forget it in the Church. Elders are to be treated with the respect of superiors, not equals.

II Equals

Concerning equals Paul speaks again in verses 1 and 2, Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. Timothy is to treat them as brothers and sisters, which in fact they are in Christ. Now the Westminster Larger Catechism on the fifth commandment says that the duties of inferiors to their superiors are reverence and prayer for them, imitation of them, and submission to them, defending their authority and bearing with their infirmities, but with regard to equals it says we are to regard the dignity and worth of each other, prefer one another in love, and rejoice in each others gifts and advancement as if it were our own. So there is another kind of respect which is due to our equals. Paul focuses on one thing here. He mentions purity which is especially appropriate as Timothy is a young man and it is necessary for him to maintain a proper attitude toward the opposite sex. He must avoid all appearance of evil for Paul emphatically says “with all purity” or as we have it translated with absolute purity. Again, I am reminded of God’s law, the Ten Commandments. The seventh commandment reminds us of the obligation to preserve and promote chastity or purity in ourselves and others. And, if you think about it all of the commandments in the second table of the law have to do with our relationships. We must, besides purity, preserve our brothers’ and sisters’ lives, property and reputation. Actually this tells us how the righteousness of God may be displayed in our relationships even when there is a problem to be addressed. This defines what love is and love is the way to approach a brother or sister. Let me comment on one of the other commandments, the ninth, Do not bear false witness. This involves a loving esteem and preserving the good name of our brother, covering their infirmities, and defending their innocency, all of which means no gossip. Of course when we talk about other people’s sins and infirmities it’s never gossip in our mind. Actually its always gossip unless we have gone to them alone first, then with a witness and then gone to the church. Otherwise it is always gossip. and the Catechism says that willingness to listen to a bad report is breaking the ninth commandment. If we would really pay attention to God’s law in our relationships, in the disappointments and brokenness of these relationships, we would be hearing what Paul is saying here. This would be treating them as brothers and sisters. Proverbs 6: 16-19 reminds us, There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

Conclusion

Timothy and we, like Paul, are servants of the Lord Jesus. Our relationships must be based on His righteousness. Isaiah prophesies that the redeemer will bring justice, but how does he do that? Isaiah 42:1-4 tells us, Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his law the islands will put their hope. Jesus method of bringing justice is to give of Himself. As a sheep before her shearers is dumb so he did not speak, by oppression and judgment he was taken away. The real question is do I deal with my brother or sister, old or young, as Jesus would? Indeed, as he deals with me? Jesus would rather die for me than crush me. This is the true meaning of the word translated admonish. It is the Spirit of Christ upon his people.